Let me start from the beginning I have been dealing with this guy for over a year now, physically he is stunning he could put any male model or actor to shame, the issue with us is that he isn't pleasing me sexually which frustrates the hell out of me. At the beginning of our situation he had me get rid of all my numbers, even my fuck buddy who was also good-looking but unavailable. I had no problem getting rid of my numbers because I had made a vow to myself that if I were to ever get in a relationship again that it would be forever, I also had no problem being single because my relationship prior to my current guy which was 7 years before him took a lot out of me. These were things he was made well aware of before I decided to let him enter my life, but when it came to sex he made the suggestion that I go outside of our relationship for that.
I was shocked because no man I know would ever suggest that to anyone he is fucking with like that, so I kept my vow to only be with him even though I wasn't satisfied because I don't believe in cheating. I have only been a player once and it didn't feel as good as my straight friends made it seem, I felt bad for deceiving both of the guys I was talking to at the time. Well earlier this year my guy left me without warning, and no communication for a total of 6 months, I had never been so hurt in my entire life except when I was 19, I dated one of the best looking guys I had ever seen until I was 21 off and on, more off than on. With the background now being laid I want to segue into my topic "Infidelity", when my boyfriend vanished after 9 months I made a dating profile on a gay dating site, initially it was to track down my old fuck buddy, who I had no success in finding, but he kind of fits my example of "Infidelity" as well. You probably want to know why, well I'm going to explain, he has a baby-momma whom he was also having sex with, and even-though I wasn't privy to that information before we started having sex doesn't mean I was ok with it either.
As of late I have come across more guys who have girlfriends, that want to cheat on them with me, and I find that bizarre. One reason is because how do you go from sexual interest in one gender to a completely different gender, and the other is something I flat-out asked one guy was, "do you love her", his reply was no and I instantly felt sad for her. I take relationships so seriously and I see no point in being with anyone who you don't love, I also feel like the body is a private thing only to be shared with your significant other, so much so that I couldn't fathom using my body to commit an act that would cause pain to the one I love. I simply feel that if you aren't invested in the situation or you feel that it isn't going anywhere, get out, leave, respect yourself and the other person enough to not deceive them. You should also be able to gage who you are as a person, if you know you aren't shit and that you can't control your sexual desires, stay single and be upfront about who you are, and what it is that you want, I think you would get a lot more respect that way. Hell I don't even like using workout equipment I see other people using without cleaning, so I couldn't imagine the thought of knowingly having sex with someone I know to be having sex with someone else, it turns me completely off and I want nothing to do with you after that.
I will take it a step further because another guy told me he was just "talking to", another guy, so before I get into how incensed I became, I will give you my working definition of "talking", if you are talking to me we are focused in on getting to know just each other, we go on dates, we spend time together, we are working on building a solid foundation for a relationship, so if you are doing that with everyone else, what makes me so special??? I don't understand how people throw these terms around so loosely, and spread themselves so thin amongst the dating pool, am I the only one who wants to spend the rest of my natural life with just that one special person???
I let that guy know how disrespectful I thought he was, and to never text my phone again, what is everybody afraid they are gonna miss, I mean when my situation was tight, and communication was good no one could even get eye contact from me, because even when he wasn't around I respected him, and knew that nobody was worth me jeopardizing what we were building. Maybe I'm not modern enough to date in this society, because even the type of conversation and interaction you have with others should have a restriction that doesn't go beyond a certain level just again out of respect. I think it takes a very mature compromising person to be in a relationship, because it's not all about self gratification anymore.
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