Skip to main content

Breaking Up "What Becomes of a Broken-heart"

By










My pain, my education, and my personal experience has prompted me into writing about my latest relationship, not so much as to air a grievance but more so as a way to heal. I am not the type to get into a relationship with just anyone, nor am I the type to just get into a relationship just for the sake of company, I loved this man, in my eyes he is everything that I have ever wanted. I opened myself up to him completely, all of my raw emotions, all of my shortcomings, all of my flaws he knows them well, and he helped recover from those old wounds I had, he made me so happy and full of life again that I wanted to be his everything forever. His happiness became my happiness, and I put him first while I took a bench seat, I did everything that he asked me to do, and still with all that has been done for him by me he left. In spite of my degree I took jobs I hated to give him everything he wanted, and needed, with him around I didn't need all the things I once needed anymore, which is funny because now that I'm going into my career should be the time when we should both be happy.





I'm not, he told me how he didn't have the love and support that I had in my life, and that he really had to get it out the mud, because of that I never wanted him to feel like that again. True there were some bumps along the road, and those that were my fault I take full responsibility for, but there are things that he placed the blame on me for that I haven't done, I can only grow as a person and the mistakes I made apologize for them, and move forward. I almost feel as though he can't feel things unless it benefits him, and I don't know because he won't communicate with me, he refuses to give me attention, but if I seek it from other people he will say I'm a hoe. I will reiterate the fact that I'm not sleeping with anyone, its hard to find people you even vibe with these days, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this one man, and this is what I get from being loving and loyal. I'm hurt even on my strongest days the fact that I know its him, and only him who makes my heart smile weakens me, I don't want to go through again, and he knew from my previous relationship that I really didn't want to let him get close to me.



Single is a word we throw around to embrace "freedom",but I don't feel so free,I can't see a life in the face of another man but his. Please correct me if I'm wrong,but I thought that's what life was all about,meeting that one person who connects to your soul,and then disappear. Now I'm left holding all of these shattered dreams alone,there is nothing that could make me be ok with that scenario,I want answers as to what I have done so wrong that has warranted this reaction,because he always says he doesn't want someone with nothing to offer,well here I am now the entire package that he feels he can obviously find elsewhere. I don't want to find another him,I'm not interested in giving another man my story,I don't want to take time out of my life to invest in a plan with another man for what???? He was my future,my everything,and I honestly don't know what to do with this broken-heart of mine,you don't just rush to someone else and say ok I'm here let's pretend like I'm good and ready to start again,it took me seven years to even get to that point when I met him. He let outside influences tell him shit about me that couldn't be further from the truth,and on top of that he made it seem as though I made he let me do things for him when that was the agreement that we made.



Im basically the same person I was in undergrad meaning I work,I hit the gym,and take my ass home,I don't go out here because this isn't my type of city,it's like he wants a reason for me not to be the perfect guy so he will feel that he is justified in his actions. It's a lot of stuff that has been brought to my attention that I don't even speak on,but another relationship isn't going to fix this. I don't want anyone in my life,in fact it makes me angry thinking about forcing a feeling with someone else that just doesn't come naturally to me,I'm picky so is he,I'm super selective about the people I let into my life so is he,and most of the time I like being alone and so does he. It's so many things that make sense about who we are as individuals,and to combine it made one kindred spirit,so many people think it's just his appearance that I'm into,that's what drew me in,but his soul,his essence is what kept me around. I say all of this to say that I'm good on loving again,that's not a feeling I want to keep going in and out of because it is consuming so I guess I will have to be enough,this is one heart that will never be broken again. Goodbye my love I guess our sandcastles have washed way
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Urban Insider talks Model Behavior with Mr. Alex Dominguez of RED Models NYC

By
With it now being officially spring and actually feeling like it, I thought what better way to celebrate than bringing in a little model behavior. Models often showcase the best of what the average person aspires to look like, from the clothes, the height, and even their hair. We chatted with Mr. Alex Dominguez for the proper insight, and here are our results....... Tell us a little about yourself such as where you are from, age, and for those who aren't familiar what agency you are currently signed with..... I was born Alexander P Dominguez in Washington DC on December 4th, and have resided in Prince George's county Maryland for most of my life. I graduated from Frostburg State university with a degree in Criminal Justice. I come from a good traditional Filipino family, and I am presently represented by RED model management NY. What was it and when was it that make you first take an interest in becoming a male model..... I really had no intentions of...
Post a Comment
Read more

Spotlight On:The New It Girl Jessica Burciaga

By
She has it all from the girl next door appeal, to extreme sex appeal. I first took notice of her when I saw the Jamie Foxx ft Drake "Fall For Your Type" video and to be honest I had to take a sceond glance because I really thought that she was JLO. It wasnt until recently when I actually found out who this stunning beauty is who looks like she could be Jennifer Lopez's little sister. Jessica Burciaga (born April 11, 1983) is an American model . Her father is Mexican and her mother is French and Irish . She was selected to be Playboy's February 2009 Playmate of the Month .   I think we are just starting to see the beginning of the beautiful Jessica, and that she has alot more in store......
Post a Comment
Read more

Rico Hundo Gives UrbanInsider a Taste of "Trinkin Trinkin"

By
Not all of our interviews and features are very long and drawn out, sometimes we just wanna hit our mark with the subject we are talking about. Today we are talking about Rico Hundo, and officially welcoming him into the UrbanInsider family, which had all to do with the fact that he has the complete package, if you ever get a chance to watch his "Instastory" please do "lil whores", he was literally born for this and I can see his light, I would say he shines from within, so you wanna see his posts, you wanna hear him talk, you wanna know what he's doing next because you can tell it's organically who he is. We caught up with this rising star to continue the promo of his incredible ''Latin fused" new track "Trinkin Trinkin" oh and he helped us get the words right lol.........Oh we almost forgot to mention he knows another favorite "Dominicana" of ours CARDI!!!!!!!! Tweet So first of all I wanna it’s a pleasur...
Post a Comment
Read more